Time to grow up, Mr Capper.

Warrick Capper, now 47 years old, is at it again and is quickly establishing himself as one of the countries biggest clowns, this time hamming it up for disgraced on-lookers at the recent V8 Supercars meet in Gold Coast on the weekend. Capper, whose reputation is diminishing more and more every time he steps into the public spotlight, was seen kissing and groping a cardboard cut out of himself, shortly after pulling down the pants of one of his mates whilst on the balcony of a Gold Coast apartment.

If Capper, who played a combined total of 124 games for the Sydney Swans and the Brisbane Bears between 1983 and 1991, was currently playing in the AFL, he would’ve been suspended numerous times and ultimately kicked out of whichever club he was at. His behaviour is often abusive, disrespectful, usually of a sexual nature and simply not tolerated in today’s society. Here are a few examples;

1993 – Capper posed nude with his then-wife, Joanne Capper, in the August issue of Australian Penthouse Magazine.

2002 – Capper appeared briefly on the reality television show Celebrity Big Brother, but he was ejected from the series by the show’s producer for exposing his penis to fellow housemate Kimberley Cooper during an argument.

2005 – Capper released an autobiography, titled ‘Fool Forward’, in which he freely admitted to using illegal drugs during his VFL/AFL career. This caused controversy given such use would not be sanctioned under the current AFL anti-doping policy.

2006 – Capper announced that he was embarking on a new career, this time as a male stripper. During 2006 he also made a pornographic film that included himself and his 25-year-old girlfriend, Kristy. The X-rated film, entitled Warwick Capper Uncut, ran for 69 minutes.

2008 – Capper challenged former professional boxer Jeff Fenech to a fight, in which he ultimately backed out of. However in 2009 he did enter the boxing ring in a promotional charity match, losing to rugby star Wendell Sailor, who like Fenech, Capper had previously criticised.

These events, coupled with numerous others in years during and since his playing days are simply not funny and not appreciated by anyone in society. Of course, many current and ex-sporting stars are guilty of poor behaviour, but more often than not they realise their mistakes and turn out to be better, more mature people from the experience. With Capper however, it’s just the same old story. Capper is nothing more than a C-grade celebrity with a constant urge to remain in the spotlight.

In Warrick’s eyes, like those of an immature toddler, any attention is good attention and unfortunately because of this continuing mindset, the bad taste and practical jokes will continue.

Anon.

The 2010 Farcical Games held in New Delhi.

Delhi Belly, false starts, moths and empty seats… Amongst other things of course. If the lead-up to the 2010 Commonwealth Games was farcical, the actual event isn’t far off.

With confusion surrounding the readiness of the facilities, the security for the athletes and officials and of course the outbreak of Dengue Fever, it’s hard to imagine the actual event itself could be worse than the drama leading up to it, however sadly for India, it is.

The crowds aren’t showing up as organisers had expected, largely due to the asking price of between 50 and 1000 rupee which takes the typical Indian between 13 and 260 days to earn. In addition to this, Indians simply aren’t interested in sports such as swimming, cycling and athletics, all they care about is hockey, shooting and weightlifting.

The presence of moths at both the athletics and swimming facilities has proven disastrous with numerous events being delayed until the bothersome insects vanished. Furthermore, English sprinter Laura Turner claims to have swallowed a moth whilst on the starting blocks waiting to commence the now controversial women’s 100m sprint, which resulted in her false starting. The race itself was also filled with drama after Australia’s Sally Pearson was also found to have false started. Despite both sprinters false-starting, the race was allowed to continue with all runners competing. Pearson went on to win the race and was lead to believe the gold was hers, until a successful protest from both England and Nigeria saw her stripped of the medal. Pearson was reduced to tears, just hours after celebrating one of the biggest moments in her flourishing career.

The competition itself is of a reasonably high standard, however the results are predictable and the Australian dominance is somewhat trivial. As it stands, not even five days into the event, Australia is so far ahead of the competition on the medal tally, that every gold medal isn’t even being reported. The current medal table currently stands at;

Finally, an outbreak of ‘Delhi Belly’ which has affected a large number of British and Australian athletes has been blamed on the water in the pools at Dr S.P. Mukerjhee Aquatics Centre. Three Australians have come down with gastroenteritis, including Andrew Lauterstein and Hayden Stoeckel who pulled out of their events on Thursday, while at least ten other swimmers have also been afflicted with a milder form of ‘Delhi Belly’. English swimmers Fran Halsall and Rebecca Adlington have also been brought down by upset stomachs but have still been able to compete. British media report up to 40 of their teammates have also been hit.

There were fears leading into the event that the reputation of the once famous Commonwealth Games could be permanently tarnished and the future of the games placed in jeopardy. Not even halfway through and the future is looking bleak.

Anon.

A solution to the AFL conference system in 2012

With so much speculation around regarding how the AFL will look in 2012, I’ve decided to form a proposal and send it to the AFL. A lot of study has gone into this and I believe that this is the best option for the future, should the AFL decided to (as expected) move towards a conference system.

Firstly, there needs to be just 2 conferences which will have 9 teams in each as it will ensure the Home & Away season is kept to 25 weeks. This is how it’ll work;

* The Home & Away Season will commence on the weekend of Saturday 17th March 2012 and run for 25 consecutive weeks, ending on the weekend of Saturday September 1st 2012.

* Each team will play all other 8 members in their conference twice (16 games) and members of the alternative conference once (9 games).

* Fixturing can be done at a later date by the AFL, but with 18 teams the need for a “Bye” is eliminated.

I believe the two conference system needs to be as follows;

There are a number of ways in which this can be justified, the most important of these include;

* The major rivalries within in the AFL are grouped together. This includes both traditional Victorian rivalries and also “local derby” rivalries from New South Wales, Queensland, Western Australia and South Australia respectively.

* There are 5 Victorian teams and 4 interstate teams in each conference, this means the travelling will be as even as it possibly can be.

Finals will begin on the weekend following the Home & Away season, and will run for 5 weeks in total.

The AFL would be best off introducing a “Top 10” style system, similar to the system the NRL used in 1998 when they had 20 teams competing.

The way that this would work is as follows;

* The winners of each conference would be ranked numbers 1 and 2 respectively. In order to reward these 2 teams, they will receive a week off in week 1 of the finals.

* The remaining 8 teams will be ranked 3-10, in an order which represents their winning record throughout the Home & Away season.

The following diagram highlights how the finals series would be played out, assuming the highest ranked team wins each week.

Key: Winners (Blue arrows), Losers with double-chance (Red arrows)

To the naked eye, this may look confusing, however it was proven to work successfully in the 1998 NRL season.

The key thing to note in this system is that if matches go according to rankings, the best teams will continue to survive. For example;

– In week 1, teams ranked 9 and 10 will be eliminated.
– In week 2, teams ranked 7 and 8 will be eliminated.
– In week 3, teams ranked 5 and 6 will be eliminated.
– In week 4, teams ranked 3 and 4 will be eliminated.

This will ensure that the best 2 teams in the entire AFL will have the opportunity to play off for the premiership. This is a superior system to the conference system in most American sports where quite often, the best 2 teams are from the same conference and as a result, can not play off for the championship.

With the removal of the NAB Cup and the introduction of this system, the length of the season isn’t extended longer than what it currently is, ensuring summer sports such as cricket won’t be affected.

In conclusion, this is not only the fairest system for all teams within the AFL, but it will also guarantee the highest number of marquee games. This will ensure that the fans are happy and that the economic profits will be maximized through both match attendance and more importantly, TV ratings.

DJC

The twenty20 captaincy dilema

(Article originally posted on Talkin’ Sport website, May 2010)

As Australia comes to terms with their unexpected loss to England in the recent ICC Twenty20 World Cup Final, questions must be asked as to whether Michael Clarke’s form warrants a spot in Australia’s starting eleven.

Taking over the Twenty20 captaincy from Ricky Ponting, Clarke’s record since being handed the reigns has been exemplary, losing just one of fifteen matches in cricket’s most unpredictable format. However, throughout his 31 match career he averages a disappointing 21.85 runs per innings with a strike-rate of just 101.39, extremely low by today’s standards. Furthermore, there are plenty of talented youngsters pushing hard for selection.

Of the current players who have represented Australia in the Twenty20 format, both Luke Ronchi and Adam Voges have superior records yet aren’t currently in Australia’s best eleven. Ronchi averages 23.50 runs per innings with a massive strike rate of 174.07 whilst Voges averages 31.50 with a strike rate of 121.15. Throw in accomplished One-Day players such as Shaun Marsh, Tim Paine and Callum Ferguson, and there’s enough evidence to suggest Clarke’s position is in serious jeopardy.

This situation has been seen many times in world cricket in the past, none more famous than Mike Bearley captaining England during the late 1970s. Bearley averaged a paltry 22.88 in his 39 Test Matches for England, never scoring a century. However his record of losing just four of 31 matches, including winning The Ashes on three occasions whilst in charge, was far superior to his predecessors.

As recently as last week, Clarke has emphatically defended his position in the team and is committed to continue on as captain. He is openly confident he can turn his personal troubles with the bat around and prove his value, much like he has in the two longer versions of the game. This however remains to be seen and the forthcoming Twenty20’s against Pakistan in July may just make or break his Twenty20 career.

Anon.